"Just Stay Positive"; Genuine Optimism or Toxic Positivity?

 How often do you get to hear someone say "just stay positive" "be happy" and bla bla bla. Quite often right? Well, that's because that's the only response people have towards anything upsetting. But it's time we realize that being happy or staying positive all the time is humanly not possible. You can not stay happy all the time right, and how can you when there's so many emotions to feel, so many things to deal with. 

To be happy, you need to accept all your emotions, even the petty dark ones. So, it is always okay to sulk for a while. Take all the time you need to feel better (don't take forever tho, life's not that long). Accept all your emotions, embrace your feelings, and let it all out. Do not try to run away from them, because the harder you resist the longer they persist. 

So, the next time you see someone not doing so good, stop asking them to be happy, move on or forget whatever they are feeling. Because now that's not how the human heart works, does it? Like everything else in the world, our thoughts and feelings need to be refined too, and we need time for that. So, allow them the time to be okay. 

And remember, not everyone needs advice. Sometimes, people just need someone to lend them an ear, to listen to their troubles. It's not always the advice that works, sometimes just being there does the magic. Because we are all tired already, not from how the world works, but from something pretty deep, something inherently present under our skins. 

We are all so worn down by the world, that nothing someone says can make us feel alright. But to know that despite everything that is wrong with the world, someone out there is always looking out for us, gives comfort. So, simply be there for the ones you care about. It doesn't matter if you can or can not make them feel alright, what matters is that you are willing to do so. 

LIFE SUCKS ALREADY, SO WHY MAKE IT MORE DIFFICULT? 

Fear Of The Unknown

 Fear seems like the most powerful feeling humanly possible to feel. But is it truly the case? 

Fear of the unknown & fear of failure is the two most powerful feelings we let ourselves feel. Or at least that's what we think. Because we constantly find ourselves thinking what will our tomorrow look like, isn't it? At the back of our minds, there is always this little annoying voice saying things we would not like to hear anyone speak. But the voice doesn't stop there, does it? 

We can hear him say things like "what if you aren't doing what you thought of". There's always this what if that keeps hanging by. And that's what scares us the most. This very much is the feeling of failing, and the fear comes in handy. It is the fear of failure that holds us back the most. Sadly, we often miss seeing it coming. This feeling that we get convinces us to stay in the misery of our current situation because the present is what we are familiar with. And maybe that's what we call a comfort zone. A space we are very familiar with that doesn't lead us to feel anything different than what we usually do. But tomorrow, it's different, and always going to be. Tomorrow brings uncertainty to our life, it can either be a bed of roses or a pack of thorns, who knows. It is a place still unknown. 

And there's nothing more than the unknown that we are afraid of. We fear letting something new come by, we fear failing at it so much that we prefer being in the misery of a present state rather than stepping out of it and embracing what's new. We have a hard time letting go of what we are comfortable with, even if it means suffering more each day. We become so used to this feeling that we can't see anything past that. We can't think straight, can we?

But dear, is this how things should always be? I know it's scary, maybe more than anyone will ever know. Thinking of a tomorrow where you might be failing in something you always wanted, something into which you have invested all you had would of course be scary. It would be devastating to imagine yourself not being able to make it. And so we choose not to try at all because that seems safer. Anything other than failing and being more miserable than today seems safer. And we humans, we always keep trying to find an easy way out into everything. 

The very idea of the unknown causes enough terror in us that we choose even to live with the regrets of not trying rather than actually giving it a push. But the truth is, you fail when you don't try & not when you do. Because when you try, even if it doesn't turn out as you wanted it to, you will still come out of it with something, a chance to do better the next time, an experience to learn from. But when you don't try at all, you have nothing by the end. Not even the feeling of conquering your fear, because that's what we call an achievement. And you are gonna get it when you take a chance. 

Believe me, when I say this, tomorrow is hell scary and so is a failure but living with not knowing what could have happened if you tried, is the scariest of all. So, the next time you think 'what if If fail', just pause & think again, 'but what if I don't'. 

Remember, it's always just the matter of taking the leap of faith. 

                                                                                                 -K